I thought my love for basketball was gone forever, I thought we had our time & now we were over for good. I haven’t played basketball for 6 years, it’s like losing so much of my identity, a part of myself.

I’m a huge fan of sport but I have anxiety & depression, I like to live alone and I like quiet places. Quiet places & sport don’t always go together that well, so for the past few years anxiety wins & I haven’t been able to immerse myself in sport like in the past.

I know playing again would help. I just can’t get to the point of where it can help me because my barriers aren’t in playing the sport. My barriers are leaving the house.

Whenever I have to go somewhere, my mind pretends like I am already there & starts having different conversations.

So many voices & thoughts all telling me different scenarios & that makes it hard for me to concentrate. When I reach the place where I know it will be busy my heart starts beating fast, I feel alot of anxiety & discomfort & my brain get frozen.

All I can think of is bad situations. Bad outcomes. Bad scenarios. It’s exhausting.

I am scared people are going to make fun of me & won’t talk to me & it loops around & around. When I go in there & I am not comfortable I start feeling anxious & uneasy & feel like running away. Fight or flight kicks in & it can really take over my life.

I heard about Cérge & at first wasn’t sure it could help me. I didn’t want to make a big deal or draw attention to myself but I noticed Eagle Stadium was on the app & they have basketball. I love ball.

It took me a while to work up the courage to go to check it out. I looked at the Visual Story & Sensory Guide & went through all the stuff on the app. I knew if I could prepare my brain for what it would see by looking at all the photos, then when I get there it would be like what I have already seen & it would hack my brain to feel more at ease.

The survival tips and processes of anxiety & depression are very real & often very unnoticed.

After a few months I finally felt ready. I had all the information and all the visuals. I used the app to let customer service know I was going and used the Cérge chat in the app also for support.

Arriving at Eagle Stadium & going to the courts felt like home, I could not look away. The smell of the court, the squeak of the ball. My body remembered & it felt like home. The staff were so welcoming and kind & gave me a timetable and spoke to me about what was on and when.

Hearing the bounce, the ball, the cheers, the thumping as people ran up & down the courts. I need to be back. I am so coming back.

I left with desire & a plan! The staff gave me details of who organise teams so I can play in a team & I also asked about tennis because I would love to play tennis. Buts that’s the next story!